WHY, MY LOVE, WHY ?

This is my version of the fave My Teddy Bear from kimracequeen.deviantart.com/

I just meant to tell how much I feel moved by this photograph.
I faved it because when I saw it I was brought back to 1977, back to my sweetest memories, back to the time when everything was possible.
I was 20 and my best friend was a pretty girl who was amazingly looking like the girl on this photo. Same silky black hair, same dark almond-shaped eyes, same delicate mouth, same little nose, same elegant silhouette... Quite amazing !
She was a dear friend, we first met at the age of 6... Since I was 12 I was secretly in love with her. I never told her. I was so shy and awkward, I was paralized with fear (fear of girls, of sex, and most of all fear of maybe losing her as a friend if I tried to confess my love). I once wrote about this unachieved love story, in this poem :

ConfessionWe both were kids
We both were shy
I never told you I loved you
We stayed friends
But we went our separate ways
We got married
Decades passed
We met once or twice
We were still good friends
Nothing else but friends
And now that I'm old
I feel like crying
When I think of you
Because now I know
You loved me too
I remember this night
When we danced together
I remember how tight you held me
I should have kissed you my love
But I was so scared I didn't dare
Forgive me I was a fool
Forgive me I know I did hurt you
I broke your heart and I broke mine
It took me a life to understand
All that is left is regrets
I wish I told you one day
How much I loved you Honey
How much I am sorry
Even though it is far too late
I can't stop dreaming of you
You my first love
You my sweetest love        
You my most painful
                              secret  
              

I keep on dreaming of her when the evening comes, when I feel lonely. I have a wife I once loved very much, two children of 22 and 18, life goes on but the good old days have gone and lonelyness is back again, and maybe my sweet friend is in a similar mood (I met her lately, she's almost 60 just like me,  just like me she never got divorced, but did she really find happiness ?) Should I tell her the truth about my real feelings, now that it's getting late and death is getting closer ? Is it a good idea or a stupid or insane idea ? When I last saw her she was still pretty enough to feed my dreams. I look at the old photos, with tears in my eyes. Don't know what to do. I probably won't do anything, as always. I look at the photo that I put above here and I can sense how bad it is a symbol of my life. The railroad track fading into the mist reminds me that I missed catching the train of love with the sweetest friend I ever had. The teddy bear symbolizes childhood and young age that I didn't fully enjoyed because of fear. The girl's attitude seems like she's saying to me : "I am waiting for you to hold me tight and wrap me in tender love, what the hell are you doing ? TELL ME WHY YOU DIDN'T TAKE ME AWAY ? WHY, MY LOVE, WHY ??????? "